Helping Children with Special Needs (SEN) through Divorce

While all children experience difficulties adapting to family breakdown, separation and divorce, it can be particularly challenging for children with special needs. Here we’ve put together some tips for helping SEN children through such a difficult life event.

The importance of routine

A change in routine can be triggering for any SEN child and while it is always important to prioritise any child’s emotional and financial stability during divorce, this is especially true for SEN children. Where possible, do try to ensure as much continuity as possible to the child’s home and school routine.

The importance of home

For many SEN children, the world is a confusing and bewildering place, while their homes offer reassurance and a place to feel safe and relaxed. The home may also be adapted with specialist equipment needed for children with physical disabilities. Any funded in-home care will be paid for by the local authority and the home may also be close to a specialist school.

This can make moving the child out of this environment extremely difficult. All cases need a tailored approach but, if possible, we would recommend ‘bird nesting.’ This is where the child or children continue to live in the family home, with the parents taking it in turns to live with them. This requires a second property or local family to help the parent not living in the house with alternative accommodation.

If this is not possible and a new environment along with a new regime is essential, our advice is to keep as flexible as possible. Great patience will be needed while a SEN child gets used to sleeping in a different place or meeting any new partners.

Coping with the changes as parents

The strain on parents can be overwhelming and both of you need to make time for self-care. We also recommend developing a co-parenting regime through either mediation or collaborative law, if you are unable to decide how this will work between yourselves.

Divorce considerations

In cases involving SEN children, the financial settlement needs to consider whether one parent is unable to earn an income owing to caring duties, needs to take into account any long-term care needs of the child, as well as specialist equipment, and transport and any financial benefits the child is entitled to.

This is a complicated process, and we recommend taking professional advice from an experienced family lawyer. The government has a guide to the available help for SEN children which can be found here https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/send-guide-for-parents-and-carers

At Tisshaws, Richard, Hana and Lidia are all trained family mediators and Gilva, Richard and Verity are collaborative lawyers. All are experienced in helping families with SEN children to separate and divorce as amicably and painlessly as possible.

If you are struggling and would like some initial advice, we offer a no obligation consultation for up to an hour for £100 (incl. VAT). At this meeting we can advise you on your specific circumstances allowing you to make informed decisions moving forwards.

To make an appointment please call us on 01444 472700, email [email protected] or complete the form below.