An introduction to financial infidelity

What is financial infidelity?

Financial infidelity is used to describe a situation where one partner in a couple is dishonest about money matters and/or misuses shared finances without their partner’s consent or knowledge.

They may have run up large debts, indulged in secret spending, been gambling with significant amounts of money, concealing hidden bank accounts and investments or lying about their income. Whatever the behaviour, financial infidelity can be devastating both eroding trust and calling the whole relationship into question.

Potential signs of financial infidelity

Today when money is largely managed digitally online, it can be difficult to identify and prove financial infidelity. People can cover their tracks and cause you to doubt any concerns.

Despite this, red flags can include:

• Defensive and evasive behaviour around money.
• Unexplained and frequent cash withdrawals and/or transactions.
• Changes in spending patterns which cannot be explained.
• Secretive behaviour around money and the desire to handle all financial matters alone.
• Missing bank statements, bills and financial paperwork.

The impact of financial infidelity

Once any financial issues have been exposed, not only can it lead to a total breakdown of trust, but it puts the whole relationship on shaky ground. Could they have been lying about other things too?

It can also expose underlying mental health or addiction issues and not least of all, leave you in dire straits financially.

Coping with financial infidelity

For some, the support of a trusted friend, therapist or financial counsellor will be invaluable in trying to move on from financial infidelity. If you are committed to salvaging the relationship, total financial transparency must be the top priority. You will need to schedule regular financial check-ins, set clear boundaries for spending, develop a workable budget to manage any debt, and take an active role in the family’s finances.

As a specialist family law firm, we have extensive experience and legal expertise in dealing with financial matters within a relationship. If you are struggling to navigate the complex world of joint finances or with the impact of divorce or separation, including all issues relating to children, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £100 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at [email protected] or complete the form below.