When to call time on a marriage

Deciding to end a marriage or a significant relationship is one of the hardest things we may ever have to do. Maybe you feel you’ve been unhappy for years in what is becoming a loveless relationship. Maybe the constant arguing and power struggles are taking their toll. Maybe one of you has started an affair, or turned to drink or drugs, to deal with an unhappy relationship.

Contemplating a permanent split is heart-breaking and you may find you have enough fight left to try to revive the relationship. If you’re struggling with such a big decision, here are some of the factors that can help to provide clarification on the way forward.

Breakdown of trust and respect

When you no longer feel that you can trust or respect your partner and neither of you have the energy to address the emotional distance between you, it’s strong sign that it’s time to move on.

Patterns of abuse and control

If you are living with any form of abuse such as emotional, financial or physical abuse, or your partner is overly controlling, then you are no longer working together as a team. What’s more, the corrosive effect this type of behaviour has on your self-esteem is deeply damaging. If this is the case, we would suggest seeking help or taking a break from the relationship to regain a sense of self-belief and control. Once you feel stronger, the decision to leave should become clear.

Patterns of blame

If both of you constantly blame each other for problems within the relationship without taking responsibility for understanding what is going wrong and what is needed to repair it, maybe it is time to call it a day.

Affairs and addictions

Other factors that can have a detrimental impact on a relationship include affairs and addictions. Even if these problems are no longer an issue, many people cannot move on from these past hurts, meaning forgiveness is no longer an option.

Constant wondering whether to leave

Usually if someone is in a constant state of confusion over whether to stay or leave a relationship, it usually means they know exactly what they want to do but are scared to do it. Confusion can be used to block out what we know we must do but are apprehensive about doing.

What can you do to save a relationship?

For a relationship to be saved both partners must want the same result and to be wholly committed in trying to make it work. Both marriage counselling and individual counselling can also be useful in helping you both to navigate a way forward.

How a family lawyer can help

If you are the one wishing to leave the relationship, we would strongly advise seeking an initial consultation with a family lawyer, before discussing separation and divorce with your partner.  Understanding how the law relates to your personal circumstances can be empowering and arm you with the knowledge you need to make an informed decision on whether, or when, you move forward.

Alternatively, if your partner is requesting separation and divorce, talking to a family lawyer will help you to understand the potential impact on your specific situation. Good legal advice will ensure you protect yourself and your family in achieving the best outcome whatever the circumstances.

If you are struggling with the impact of divorce and separation, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £100 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at [email protected] or complete the form below.